<div><h1>MANY HAPPIER RETURNS </h1><p>2009? No valentine-- </p><p>The landscape looks like District 9, </p><p>Though corporate corpses line the lawns </p><p>Instead of otherworldly prawns. </p><p>Among the living, those once strong </p><p>Now huff and puff and wheeze along, </p><p>Unless, of course, they got a gift </p><p>When stimulus gave them a lift. </p><p>So many deemed too big to fail </p><p>And so few deemed too big to bail, </p><p>The situation gives one pause-- </p><p>Who made Tim Geithner Santa Claus? </p><p>With federal spending out of sight, </p><p>Paul Krugman says it's still too slight. </p><p>The controversy's fierce, but wait, </p><p>There's still the health-care-bill debate. </p><p>The public option's blown a fuse, </p><p>The Senate bill will lose, win, lose, </p><p>They'll never make Olympia Snowe see </p><p>Eye to eye with Ms. Pelosi, </p><p>Lieberman says no, yes, no, </p><p>While Harry Reid--oh, let it go. </p><p>A back-and-forth on cap-and-trade </p><p>Means going green's again delayed, </p><p>And how can joy be unalloyed </p><p>With double-digit unemployed </p><p>And upward-sailing federal debt... </p><p>Did I say Merry Christmas yet? </p><p>Well, Merry Christmas anyhow, </p><p>And first of all, the deepest bow </p><p>To those whose companies survived, </p><p>And in some cases even thrived: </p><p>At Goldman Sachs, somehow Lloyd Blankfein </p><p>Kept the profits of his bank fine; </p><p>Richard Anderson impressed </p><p>With Delta's merger with Northwest, </p><p>While Citi's Pandit spread some cheer </p><p>By working for a buck a year, </p><p>As did the chief of Oracle-- </p><p>What, Ellison? Historical! </p><p>Bob Iger helped make Disney shine </p><p>By snapping up the Marvel line </p><p>And also made his stock price spark </p><p>Announcing that new Shanghai park, </p><p>While Microsoft made big noise revvin' </p><p>Up to market Windows 7. </p><p>Signs of life were found, they say, </p><p>By analysts of M&A, </p><p>And Jeffrey Bewkes at last was able </p><p>To unwind Time Warner's cable. </p><p>Wal-Mart bravely soldiered on </p><p>In price wars vs. Amazon, </p><p>But happiest of all, perhaps, </p><p>Was anyone who markets apps, </p><p>From recipes for turkey scraps </p><p>To farts to Chinese take-out maps. </p><p>Such downloads, though they may be pap, 'll </p><p>Surely warm the hearts at Apple. </p><p>Season's greetings, too, to those </p><p>Whose bottom lines hit thudding lows, </p><p>Or who are never coming back: </p><p>An R.I.P. for Pontiac, </p><p>And even Saturn fell to earth </p><p>(I liked the Vue, for what it's worth), </p><p>Though GM, in a bid to cope, 'll </p><p>Sell, keep, sell, keep, sell, keep Opel. </p><p>Massive debt at AMR, </p><p>Six Flags and Saks are under par, </p><p>And for the umpty-umth year, Boeing </p><p>Can't get its Dreamliner going. </p><p>NBC is finding ten o' </p><p>Clock is not prime time for Leno. </p><p>(Will its programs be more trendy </p><p>Once it's cut off from Vivendi?) </p><p>Intel's having not much fun </p><p>In being sued by everyone, </p><p>While Rupert Murdoch feels the sting </p><p>Of Google (his solution: Bing). </p><p>The woe extends to Donald Trump, </p><p>Who's suffering from a gambling slump, </p><p>And layoffs even ruled the day </p><p>(And this is rare) at J&J. </p><p>Some not-too-prudent marketing </p><p>Meant sales were down at Burger King, </p><p>And though their image is aglitter, </p><p>Are they in the black at Twitter? </p><p>Little changed at CIT: </p><p>It's barely out of bankruptcy, </p><p>While profits were a constant lack </p><p>At Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. </p><p>Oh, one more thing that made us freak: </p><p>When Bloomberg purchased BusinessWeek. </p><p>So for next year, here's what I'm thinking: </p><p>Let the trade gap go on shrinking, </p><p>Let each market force allow </p><p>A solidly five-digit Dow. </p><p>In fact, let every market fly-- </p><p>The DAX, the Nikkei, heck, Dubai. </p><p>Let the feds still run GM, </p><p>But once it's healthy, fire them. </p><p>More electric cars, and please, </p><p>More cost-efficient batteries. </p><p>Let the media brass divine </p><p>A way to make a buck online, </p><p>And let that buck not plunge so low </p><p>The U.S. ends up with no dough. </p><p>Let a sluggish SEC </p><p>Resolve its Madoff misery, </p><p>And let the BLS report </p><p>Statistics of a happier sort, </p><p>With millions of well-paid new jobs, </p><p>For everyone, not just Lou Dobbs. </p><p>Let the housing market soar </p><p>Right back to where it was before, </p><p>And let consumer spending rise, </p><p>But don't let debt metastasize. </p><p>Peace on earth, good will toward men, </p><p>And see you in 2010. </p><img src="http://admatch-syndication.mochila.com/images/ad.gif?aid=65969621&bid=informcom" /></div><div id="copyright"><div>

Copyright 2009  <a href="http://www.businessweek.com">BusinessWeek</a></div></div>